GRACIAS

HAPPPPAY TURKEY DAY !

wow, this is the first time in my sixteen years of life that i didn't do anything to celebrate thanksgiving. it's actually pretty depressing. i normally love change, but this is definitely not something to be happy about. i might as well call this thanksgiving "the worst thanksgiving ever". eh, to make things a wittle better ... i'm gonna go shopping at midnight ! whooo, time to spend the money i've been saving.

hahah, oh ! & the funniest/most embarrassing thing happened to me this morning. however, i'd rather not go into detail about it [; anyways, hope everyone is having a great day with their family & friends. i'm so thankful i have in my life. i just wish i would learn to never take anything for granted. i love, love, love my fammm & fwends !<3

seeeeya.

REGRETS ?

it's been a good, eventful weekend. there's nothing worth complaining about.

the main thing on my mind lately is just how much i miss soccer already. i recently quit my club team & there's just been so many when i wanna' go back to it. at the same time, i'm so happy that i finally get a break from it all ... a break from having no life of weekends ... a break from constant injuries ... a break from loss after loss ... just everything. somewhat depressing.

it's time to get some sleep. too much on my mind. thank goodness there's only 3 days of school this week. HURRAY for thanksgiving :D

nighty night.

THIS TIME

i'm realllllly givin up.

it's not my style, or whatever, but it's what i gotta do. this day has just been far too much for me to handle. i'm ending my night short. i've got so much still on my mind. so much anger, frustration, stress ... yada yada yada ! i'm in desperate need for somethin' that will put a genuine smile back on my face.

I'M OUT.

YOU GOT ME

to thinkinnn ...

but i can't do it. it will ruin everything i've lived by for some time now. i know i need to stop, but you make it so darnnn difficult. haven't felt this in a while; i don't know how to deal with it anymore.

EH, but enough drama. new moon's coming out soon, the lakers are playing tomorrow, & women's ensemble has another festival. that's prettttay good. mmm, but i can't wait for ninja assassin to come out too ! [:

school went down like:
1st - more GC shtuff.
2nd - gettin sick of the same ish.
3rd - prepared for tomorrow !
4th - it's whatever now
5th - same ...
6th - eh. i don't knowww

i'm sleepy already, but i gotta' get some work done. seeeeya !

<3

MKAY

it's been too long since my last blog. over a month or something like that [;

life's been okay. nothing amazing has really happened. i've had my usual good times, but there were also times when i felt like the world was just against me or whatever. of course now i realize that i was just being over-dramatic, but hah ... whatever.

i'm not exactly in the mood to go into a lot of detail about what's been going down in my life, so i'll just stick to the recent past. mmm so, there's still no boy in my life. i miss that weak at the knees type feeeling sometimes, but most of the time ... i'm loving being single and everything. eh, but there's currently someone who keeps coming into mind. i wanna' just drop all that. certain circumstances just make it so difficult to do that though. especially with everyone pushing me towards it ... ugh !

anyways, school has been unbelievably stressful. i don't know how i'm even still alive at this moment. haha [: i just wanna' get junior year over with ! i'm in desperate need of winter break already D: i think i've missed class this year more than ever. i just wanna' sleep all the freakin' time ! hah.

soccer's still playing a part in my crazy life. too bad i'm quitting my club team ! yeeeahhh, can't deal with that anymore. it's simply no longer enjoyable. i'm deffff not quitting soccer altogether though ! hah, never >;] yeah, my AYSO team just got knocked outta' playoffs tonight. hahaha. it was fun while it lasted ... seanita came to watch & everything. mhmm, today was actually an "okay" day, despite how extremely exhausted i am.

ah ! another choir festival on thursday. i'm missssing school again. whatevs, i love women's ensemble. alright well ... here's how today went:
1st - discussed shtufff, then GC work.
2nd - startin' to get really confused.
3rd - listened to our recording.
4th - math can suck a caccck.
5th - la clase es bueno. ew :P
6th - "worked". hahah ! more like, rated people.
sectional after school & stuff.

yeup yeup ! g'day ! ;D

alrighty. i'm shleeepy. goodnight, baybehs.

feeeeling ? ... exhausted, stressed, confused.

SHOCKER

today's my sweet 16th birthday !
unlike what i expected, today turned out to be an extremely amazing day. i love my family & friends. thanks for all the love & birthday greetings, even the ones from people i didn't even know. hahah :P now it's back to stress & homework. how greaaat ...

counting down to homecoming. woooot.

goodnight. i hope this year's gonna be a good one.

RIDICULOUS

my birthday's in four days & i'm not even excited at all. i've officially accepted that my "sweet" sixteen isn't gonna' so sweet after all. this is probably gonna' be my worst birthday ever, & i'm being so serious right now. this is also the first time i'm missing out on harvest festival in the longest time. on top of that, school is so stressful. i just cannot wait for junior year to end already !

on the bright side; homecoming's on saturday ! mhmm, faith's my date [:
but sheeesh, i still have some things to take care of for homecoming. wow, just piling on the work.

anyways, i got a pedicure today. it matches my dress for homecoming, hahah. yeup, & i made chocolate truffles. they're so good.

mkay, i'm sleepy already. game & church tomorrow.

NIGHT.

OFFICIALLY

the worst day of my life. this day has just been filled with endless failure. i just want the day to completely fade to night, & then just end. period. end of story.

i have a lot of homework to do over this weekend ! so much for "relaxation". school's so gay ]: i haaate it. oh & to top it off, homecoming's coming up & of course ... i'm still dateless & it'll most likely stay that way. life's so lame right now. well, for me at least. i try so hard to put on a happy face for everyone, but i don't know how much longer i can do that. i'm not one who likes being fake, but i really don't wanna' bring everyone else down so i try my best to seem okay.

school today was pathetic. i don't even wanna' go into detail about it. my step-cousins are sleeping over & i think we'll have some sort of fun because i haven't seen them for like two months or something. it's ridiculous.

ugh, but really ... i want a date to homecoming, but i'm not desperate [: hahah.

alright, it's hot & i'm bored. mmm yeah ... i'm gonna' be practicing some vibrato like every freakin' day of my life now because i fail at everything. whoooo. so exciting ! notttt.

"farewell" <3

WAKE ME UP

when september ends ! hah. no, seriously though. we're only fifteen days into this month, & i already can't wait for october to come around. mainly because of my birthday, but also because i'm just dying for this month to disappear. mhmm, yeah. already stressing out more than ever. it's project after project, endless sleepless nights, & just all the bad things about school.

anyways, i do realize i haven't blogged since the first day of school so i know i need to give updates or whatevs. nothing much has really happened or changed since then to be completely honest. i've just made some new friends & learned some new things here & there. school's a trip this year. no doubt about that at all.

so i don't know why i'm blogging at such a busy time in my life, but hey ! i guess i just really need to get things off my chest & vent like no other. today, i was told something that seriously hurt. it wasn't said to offend me or anything like that, but it hurt like motherlover because it brought back memories ... memories i'd give anything to forget. all i have to say to the person who made me feel that way is "please don't do this to me. you don't have the right to act that way you're acting. the least thing you can do is help me forget ... help me to never relive the hell you put me through ... at least do that for me." ughhh. so sad ]:

um so, here's how school went:
1st: g'day i suppose. super stressful though
2nd: the usual. good thing the teacher's funny [;
3rd: mostly talked. nothing new though
4th: i suck at math. end of story
5th: same ol' routine
6th: talked about farts. hahahah :P

i'm not going to practice tonight because of my ankle which better heal or whatever before saturday ! ah, because if it doesn't ... i'm going to be a very unhapppay person. hah. mkay, homework time ! how exciting ...

goodbye.

FIRST DAY

mmm, today went alright.
here's my schedule:
1st; ENGLISH 11 AP; myers
2nd; CHEMISTRY; urabe
3rd; TREBLE CLEF; a. rodriguez
4th; TRIG/PRE-CAL; ameluxen
5th; SPANISH 3 H; esquer
6th; US HISTORY; hancock

everything's just whatever. the only thing i really hate is that i have to start off my day in AP ! ]: i'm notorious for coming to school late, and i especially don't want to be late to an AP class. i don't need any detentions in my life. other than that, things are chill ish. chemistry is just a little intimidating basically because i suck at science. choir's always chill [: i'm frustrated that i got the same math teacher as last year, but someone in the class makes it a little worth it. my spanish teacher scares me a little, too ! ugh. oh, & sixth period is just fun. seems like i'm gonna' have a lot of fun there :D anyways, i got "homework" to do & i'm gonna' coach my brother's team around 5 because my dad sprained his ankle, & then i have my own practice around 8. sooo busy !

goodbye, lovessss.
here's to better days !

<3

PEACEOUT

summmma. so fun while it lasted ...
still got stuff to finish up, so i better get to it !

real quick though;
holycrap. last night was probably one of, if not the best, night of my summer. the cutest ish went down ! i'm just so frustrated by who it came from. very unexpected, & confusing. mmm, gotta move on though.

anyways, updates will come when school starts.
g'bye ! [:

OH BOY

choir camp is over ! D:
it was honestly really fun. i loved meeting new people & getting a little closer to people i've already known but might have just lost contact with for a while. mhmm, it's always nice to get reunited & stufffff. i really like the songs we've already learned & i can't wait to learn even more. i know women's is gonna' require a lot of hard work compared to mixed choir, but shooot. i'm so down to make all the effort needed & them some [; hahah. just a little side note: nahh, i'm not giving anyone "the hookup". so ya'll need to just chill ! if yah' know i mean, although most of you won't. oh welll.

officially just a little over a week left of summma vacation. that's ridiculous ! i'm not ready to go back to school yet. just looking through some of my books that i already have scares me already. junior year's gonna' be hell. whatever though, so many people have gone through it so why can't i ? forrrreal. all i know is that i gotta' focus like no other for the remainder of this summa. it's seriously do or die at this point. ahh !

i'm out ! i'll try to keep yah' posted <3

feeeeling ? ... determined, happpay, stressed.

GREAAAT

this is just wonderful. this keeps happening again & again & again ...

hoping this will be the last time, but then again - that's what i hoped for before & things still went down the same way. how frustrating. i can help but wonder if it's time to quit. who knows ?

here's to a fantastic weekend ahead of me.

feeeeling ? ... disheartened, but still optimistic.

REALLY

what are you trying to do to me ?
you do "the usual". whatever works for you. that thing i can't stand.
whatever you wanna' call it. i'll still call it BS.
you do what you're best at as if i don't already have enough problems on my mind all the time. you try to act like you understand & you attempt to give what you call advice. it doesn't help because i know it's not real. you seem to think this is a game - guess what ?! ... i'm not playing. i'm not much of a quitter, but you've left me no choice. i'm done with games, with drama, with the pain, with YOU. i've tried to find a positive side to the things you've done & how's it has affected my life, but there's nothing that really gives me that willingness to make it work. not anymore, at least.
who do you think you are ?
you don't have the right to do this to me ... to anyone. i hope you never ever put anyone through what i went through. i know i'm not perfect & i'm not always the best person towards people ... but hey ! at least i admit it. you can't go around telling people what to do or how they could improve this or that when your own life is freakin' ridiculous. i don't know what to do with you anymore. just please stop trying ... i'm pretty much begging now. it only hurts me more. do both you & i a huge favor. just let go ...

i definitely have.

this is directed to one person, & one person alone. i apologize for wasting everyone else's time. i'm sorry for going off like this, but i honestly can't take it anymore. i need to let these things out.
i'll keep these blogs going. hopefully the next ones will be happier :] goodnight.

feeeeling ? ... frustrated, sad ish, sick ish, whatevvvs mannn

HOME

sweeeet home.
washington was greaaat; enjoy:

many more pictures on my myspace. check 'em out if you'd like :]
btw; i'm still procrastinating. i only have like 3 weeks left ! ahh ...

feeeeling ? ... bored, stressed out, blah.

WDUPPP

from port orchard, washington ! :]
this vacation has been extremely fun, & the best part is that it's not even done yet ! i'll give full details when i get back to california & i'll even post some pictures. for now, all i can really say is that i'm loving washington & it's so nice to get away from the hills for a little while.

yeah, i'm leaving soon to go camping for 2 nights. i'm really excited ! :D at this point, i don't think i'm gonna' get to make s'mores because nobody wants to go to the store to buy the chocolate & marshmallows & crap. mhm well, i'm out ! byeee <3

feeeeling ... super excited, happppay.

ANDDD

now, the day i have been waiting for all summer, is here.

i'm outta this city. whadddup evergreen state !


i'm ready to have the time of my life. here goes nothinnn !
peaceout, loves <3

feeeeling ? ... excited, anxious, hopeful, happpay !

YEAH

let's just say, i've been having the time of my life :]
but now ... it's seriously time to get serious & get some work done.
goodbye care-free days ;[

'nuff said.

feeeeling ? ... happy/sad, prettty amazed <3

SO FAR, SO GOOD

the last time i blogged was just on saturday but somehow, i feel like i have so much to share. so yeah, here goes nothing:

sunday: church was good as usual. i went with my cousins, uncle & aunt to eat at hometown buffet with some of our friends from church. i guess it was kind of a little celebration of my uncle's birthday that was on the 16th. the food was the saaame as always; that's good i guess. oh, except for my completely watered down pink lemonade that was basically just flavored water. mhm, & then we went to our family friend's house just to chill for a few hours. we went to our afternoon gospel meeting around 4ish. that was good too :] went home after that & then decided to bike around chino hills with my daddy & brother. my legs definitely got a workout ! hah, i looove my new bike though. it's a cruiser & it's pretty much amazing. ughh, except for the fact that the handle bar grips cut my thumb. okay okay; long story short, i kind of hit a wall ... but trusttttt it's not what it really sounds like. it's actually quite complicated. anywaysss, i ate at mandarin bistro for dinner. then, i finally biked home & just chilled until i fell asleep.
monday: woke up super late. had about an hour or so to get ready to hit the beach. i've been going to redondo all summer, but i finally went to newport. it was kind of disappointing though because i didn't have my bathing suit so i couldn't go in the water as much as everyone else. sooo, me & cj just stayed close to shore. whatevs though, because i still had fun. i was with my cousins & the family friends that we're always with; the velasco's. yeeeup, they're chill. hm, we went to taco bell before the beach though & i got some chalupas & a frutista. gahh, that stuff is good. uh huhh, & at the beach i got an ice cream sandwich that was overpriced. wow, i really did have a lot of fun that day.
yesterday: i babysat during the day. i love audrey elizabeth basa hyche ! she's my babehhgirl. anyways, i went to the circus at night. that was deffff the greatest show on earth. i give every one of those performers their props. it was prettty legit stuff. i had some good laughs. pictures are up on my myspace, so check it out.
now todayyy. i woke up & then met up with my dad at bj's during his lunch break. the food was bomb as always, especially the pizookie. nothing tops that ! hahah :P i'm at home now, apparently. i'm gonna chill with chrischoe in a bit, just for an hour or so. i'm bored now & i don't wanna start rambling on & on. bye !

feeeeling ? ... good ? yeah, that works ;]

CUTES

so today, i spent my day with a bunch of kidds. some so adorable ... some not so much. hahah :P first i went to my little cousin's 4th "spongebob themed" birthday party. that was lots of fun. the food was super delicious ... freakin' pizza, pasta, dumplings & whatnot. hah ... yeahh, it was just good. after thaaat, i went back home for just a few minutes & then left again to go to my brother's soccer team's end of the season party. i saw emily there ! hahah, it was great finally getting to hear some updates from that girl. i miss her along with all my other friends. anyways, i chilled with my brother's teammates. like no joke; each one of them has become like a little brother to me. i love their company, no matter how ridiculously crazy they can get. we did lots & lots of contests in the water & a water gun fight was the cherry on top of an amazing day. i love them kids, & that's in a completely sisterly way. i know i wanted to really enjoy this weekend, but sheeesh ... today exceeded my expectations. i loved today. i'm out. church tomorrow <3

feeeeling ? ... happppy, but totally missing themmm !

LEMONADE

enjoying a nice, cold glass of lemonade at the moment. the heat is killllin' me, man. too bad i have conditioning today ! talk about heat stroke. nothing much to say right now, but i felt like just blogging a little bit. hm, i guess all i'm really thinking is how i wanna' watch harry potter again ... or at least go to the movies again. i just wanna' chill somewhere with the people i miss most. y'know what i mean ? yeah.

i'm keeping this one short. oh & btw; happy birthday to tito ferdie & allie babyyyy ! :D

"hurray for favors & catching up."

feeeeling ? ... whaaatevers, good; i guess.

GOOD STUFF

mhmm, HP6 was pretty good. i wish they could've put everything the book had in the movie, but that'd just make the movie unbelievably long. hahah :] i was completely ready to just knock out last night -or earlier this morning- call it whatever you'd like, but yeah ... i was sleepy. especially after going to harkins to line up after soccer practice. oh & speaking of the devil; line was crazy long ! curving around the back of the building & ish. hah, people at the front of the line either had A LOT of patience or they're REALLY big fans; or both. haha, well a really good thing was that i saw a good amount of people that i haven't seen in a while & even a couple people i thought i'd never see again; like the people who have graduated & whatnot. so yeah, all in all ... last night was pretttty freaking fun.

oh gah, & seeing a certain someone kinda' made me blaaaaah. yeah, idk.
'kaybye :]

feeeeling ? ... chill, content, happy, weirded out.

FINALLY

tonight. harrypotter6 ! midnight showing; i cannnnnot wait. i've been counting down to this day for months, & now ... it's here ! after soccer practice, i'm rushing home & getting ready. theeen, i'm gonna' buy some del taco. & theeen, i'm heading to harkins to sit & wait for a couple hours. hahah, that's the only gay part. oh well, i'm bringing cards, my ipod, & my ds. speed & mariokart tournament with my cousins, hahah ;] anyone else who's there is free to join. i'm pretty sure the movie will be well worth the wait. ohmygosh, i can't take it anymore ... i wanna' see it already.

sadly, there's only one left after this one. hah, i feel like a nerd. eh, oh well :]
catch yuh' later.

"...let us step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure."
- Albus Dumbledore

feeeeling ? ... EXCIIIITED, sadish.

FRUSTRATION

everyone at my house is being a pain in the butt. well, except my ate & little cousins. like seriously; i know i've got responsibilities & whatnot ... & i know what i have to do & when i have to do it by. i may not always follow everyone else's timing, but g'dangg it ... i get that ish done. on top of all the crap i've dealt with earlier today, everyone's freaking bi-polar. i'm pretty sick & tired of this. i need to get away, but eff it - i can't.

the fact that i still haven't bought my HP6 tickets & i'm still procrastinating when it comes to my summer reading just frustrates me more & more. i need some motivation, forrrreal. ughh, i'm buying my tickets later on today forsure. mhm, & i think i'm gonna' start reading today too. eff my liiiiiife.

i think i have a scrimmage against some team that's gonna' kick my team's butt. hahh, if the scrimmage is today ... it won't be a pretty sight. all i wanna' do is drive & drive & drive & get some joghurt ;] i need to chill. time to just lay on my bed & listen to music until i'm all good.

btw; someone started texting me again. gahh, idk about this one. for now & probably for a long while ... it's gonna' be a no. anyways; oh yeah, happy birthday jepri ...

feeeeling ? ... FRUSTRATED, hot, blaaaah.

SUNDAYS

gawshhh, i just love sundays. c'mon; church, family time, & good food ! nothing beats that. i'm in such a goooood mood today ;] i love, love, love being at church &/or spending time with people i've met through church. mhmm, & i went through an experience today that just proved to me that "our true wealth is the good we do in this world". props to Mohammed for that quote; btw.

yeah so, today's the filipino independence day festival. i think i might go after my church's gospel meeting; but only if my cousins are down because they're my ride ;] if i do end up going; i hope i see lots of familiar faces ! fingers crossed.

i ate some subway not too long ago & it was delicious. sweet onion chicken teriyaki is the bombbb. enough said.

i'm done here.

feeeeling ? ... happy, hopeful.

BEACH

woohoo :] i went to redondo beach again today. traffic kind of annoyed me, but i guess it was worth it. i ate some good squid before i went to the shore to do some walking & talking with my cousin. yeahh, took some pictures ... sat in the sand ... got wetter than i wanted ;] hah whatever; i had fun. i bought an ice cream cookie sandwich before i went home, & that was yummmy. after the beach, my family & i went to visit some other family members in pasadena. chilled there for a bit; ate some church's chicken & watched some scary movies. yeeeup, then it was time to go home.

so yeah, now here i am ... blogging again. haha. oh ! so i posted a bulletin on myspace around 1ish in the morning about the helicopters flying over my house & neighborhood & whatnot ... & now i guess i have an answer to what caused all that nonsense. haha, i'll keep the info to myself, but still; that crap kind of scared me.

i woke around 9:30 today. lucky me. hah, lots of sarcasm there. i had practice at CHJH at 10:30 until around noon. it was freaking hottttt ! or as i usually refer to it; asthma weather. at least i got a good workout. mhmm, my team got a lot done & we're finally looking like a pretty good team now. i'm really happy about that. honestly, i love my team. we get along perfectly & no one's into the whole drama scene; & that's a major plussss. hm ? i just wonder if my previous team will still even have an 'end of the season' party anymore. eh, idk if i really even care anymore.

my cousin is getting paid $100 by my aunt just to read a book for her & do some summary or whatevs. ohmygoshh, really now though ? i could do that ish. oh well, i finally got the harajuku perfume 'love' today. thanks to my aunt ! i've been waiting forever to get that :]

i miss driving. i probably won't be able to get behind the wheel again until monday or tuesday ;[ darnnn, that seems forever away still ! haha, ughh. note to self; learn how to be patient. this blog is getting really pointless & random, so i think it's time to end this & put all my readers outta' their misery. i'm out ! goodnight; church tomorrow btw ! <3

"Sow a thought, and you reap an act;
Sow an act, and you reap a habit;
Sow a habit, and you reap a character;
Sow a character, and you reap a destiny."
- Charles Reade

feeeeling ? ... gooooood :]

LATE NIGHTS

so this is really my second blog today, but considering that it's already passed midnight ... i guess this could just be the first blog of my hopefully good saturday :] i feel an all nighter coming on, so i thought that i should just blog some more. sadly, i have to wake up earlyish. hahah well, only if you consider 9:45 to be early; because i do ! hah. i have soccer practice in the morning. i'm not exactly looking forward to it, but what the heck ... i might be able to get some driving practice done :] mhmm, boyyy ... i love driving. haha.

uhh, i went to a memorial service today for a man that went to my church. i didn't know him that well, but i do remember meeting him & seeing him around from time to time. good man. goshh, life's not long enough. i love experiences that remind me to live life to the fullest. i just wish i could be better at it though. sometimes i feel like i restrict myself too much; i know my limits, but i know i can go overboard with trying to do what's right. or at least what i think is right. hmm, there's so much to think about ...

however, i honestly do think that i should at least try to sleep now. it's probably gonna' be an epic fail, but i think it's worth a try. after all, i do have lots & lots of exercise ahead of me. eh, okaaay. time to finally get off the computer. hah, i really do need a life :[ goodnight, loves.

<3

feeeeling ? ... awake, thirsty ;]

HP6

harrypotter 6 is coming out in 5 days ! mhmm, & i am sooo going to the midnight showing. i still have to buy my tickets, but i'm planning on doing that either today or tomorrow. haha, i loved the book, so i hope this movie will do it justice. i doubt it will, but whatevs ... i'm still watching it.

in other news; haha. i'm still procrastinating. i need to check the AP list that's posted in the school so i at least know that i'm not wasting my time reading books that i don't really have an interest in. but yeah, nothing's really new. eh well, my soccer practices have been changed to 3 days a week instead of just two. yeah, as if soccer isn't already consuming enough of my life. oh well, what can i do? nothing ! so there's no point in complaining. my dad's already letting me skip the training i have on wednesday's ... so that's the only plus to this situation.

i wanna' go to washington already ! it official; i'm going camping while i'm there. i'm so exciiiited :D i haven't been camping since sixth grade camp, & that wasn't even in a tent. i'm kind of sick of the whole chino hills scene right now, so i really wanna' go somewhere. mhmm, & after i get back from washington, i'm gonna' go to raging waters to celebrate my little cousin's birthday. & theeen, choir camp starts soon after that. forsureee.

i gotta' clean today. woohoo ... siiiike.
okie dokes. i think that's all i got for now. peace !

feeeeling ? ... hungry, bored, excited, reluctant.

JULY'S HERE

happy belated fourth of july ! :]

i haven't been giving updates for a little while now, but nothing's really changed since my last blog post anyways. i've just been spending a lot of my time at home; & surprisingly, it hasn't been that bad. i have been getting out of the house from time to time, but only for soccer or some little hangout with family or familyfriends. so yeah, i miss my friends sooo much. i keep missing out on kickbacks due to things i had absolutely no control over :[ it sucks. i've also been doing lots & lots of chores lately. it's whatever now though 'cause i'm already getting used to always being busy. too bad i'm totally lagging it when it comes to my summer reading for AP. i feel horrible for procrastinating. ughh, so i guess i'll read after i finish up this blog.

anyways. this one person has got me trippin' again. i don't really understand how this one person has the ability to confuse me so much. idk if this one person even knows what they're doing to me, but still ... idk what to do or think anymore. i always forget about my situation with this one person, but then they just make me feel so ______ (idk what word fits in that blank at the moment) so easily. gahhh, like one or two other people will understand what i'm even talking about, but whatever. this is what's on my mind; & it's killlllling me >:O

i got my hair cut. well, just a 2-3 inches chopped off. finally cut my bangs that didn't even really look like bangs anymore. my split ends are gone ... for now. i know they'll be back very, very soon. hmm, the weather's been a pain in the butt lately. only 'cause the heat makes me feel so uncomfortable & sticky & just gross. thank goodness for frozen yogurt & thai tea slushes that can always cool me down :D haha. well, alright. i'll blog again when i find time. btw; harry potter 6 is coming out sooooon ! & i'm watching the midnight showing. heck yesss. aight bye ! time to read.

feeeeling ... hot, guilty, confused, satisfied ...

HM.

so despite a few boring days here & there ... summer's been greaaaat. new faces & new experiences are coming my way, & i like it. i still miss everyone though. i've failed to hang out with a lot of people ... but it's okay. there's still a lot of summer to live up.

my ate & kuya came back from the Philippines two days ago. mannn, i missed them like crazy. too bad they're not even home right now; which is why i have the time to actually blog right now. blahh, i wanna watch transformers. i totally missed out on the midnight showing :[ butttt, i think i'm watching it today. hopefully.

so today's my last day of living a soccer free life for the rest of this week. tomorrow i have a game .. friday i have two games .. saturday i have two games again. on sunday, i really wanna have a game 'cause that means my team made it to the semi-finals & finals. gahhh, i really wanna win this tournament, but my team's just drama. i'm so over the season already. thank God it's the last tournament.

shoot, i still gotta read my books for AP next year. wonderful. okay so, i'm done here.

"Summer days just sitting around, but when the sun goes down... I'll be ready to party."
- Lil' Rob

feeeeling ? ... bored, optimistic, hopeful, full.

LAKERS

champions, baaaaby !
thass how we do. kobe's mvp. phil jackson's coaching is bomb.

today's been another good day.

feeeeling ? ... ECSTATIC.

SUMMMMA'

today's been lots of fun. the best part is; the day's not even over yet.

this morning i woke up around 8. ughh, so much for sleeping in, right ?! haha. it's okay though. since i managed to get up early, i woke up just in time to get some breakfast at panera bread. mmm; i love the bacon, egg, & cheese sandwich :] well, after eating ... i went to the ontario mills mall. my aunt bought me a new purse that i absolutely looove ! thennn, i bought myself a new pair of sandals. yeeeup, today's been good. i just got back home a little while ago, but in a little while i think i'm gonna' head off to redondo beach. i hope plans don't change anymore.

so yesterday, i was super bored. i started playing the piano again for the first time in a long time. ohhh, & a major plus about yesterday was my workout. i did so many sit-ups & ran so much. i feel gooood. i don't wanna' get fat over the summer ;[ so far, i'm doing pretty well.

alrighty. i'll keep these summer updates going. trussst. but for now; goodbye.

feeeeling ? ... happppay, tired.

IT"S OVER

shooot, next year ... all hell will break loose. honestly, i'm scared.

but on the bright side; hellllllllllo summer 2009 ! :]
bring on the good times.

too bad my day/life has officially been ruined. eff it all.

SOPHOMORE?

not for long ! haha, oh my goodness. i don't know whether i should be excited or just straight up scared about next year. the c/o 2011 are already going to be juniors next year. meaning just one more year after that ... & we'll be seniors. holy crap, now THAT'S prettttty scary. i must admit that i'm scared to grow up & i wish highschool would just last longer. going off on my own to college without the same ol' crap i love & am so used to honestly terrifies me. especially just thinking about the seniors this year that are graduating this week & how i'll never see most of them ever again makes me so sad. i really just wanna' cry it out, but somehow ... the tears aren't coming as much as i expected. trusssst, i've shed some tears ... but it's far less than i thought. but really ... class of '09 ... i'm really gonna' miss them & i'll never forget all the good memories with them.

anyways, finals are coming up in a matter of days & i'm kinda' sorta' nervous. i have a math test to study for tonight that i'll hopefully ace tomorrow. on top of that, i still gotta' prepare myself for the actual math final. for bio ... i'm studying like cuhhh-razyyy ! too bad even if i get a 100% on the final, i still won't have an 'A' :[ mhmm, i did the math & checked what i would have. ughhh, i'm finally done with PE for the rest of my life. how freaking exciting is that? verrrry ! ahaha :) i need to make sure that i know my facts about badminton, because that's what i'm getting tested on. exciting ... i know, right ?! hah. well for spanish, i'm just gonna' wing my oral final. it's whatever to me now. honestly the least of my worries [ other than PE & choir ]. speaking of choir; it has just turned into a class for venting & signing yearbooks. i loooove it. english just requires too much outta' me. 'nuff said about that.

laker game tonight. watch it !!!!! haha.

aiiight ! bye now.

feeeeling ? ... sadddd, busy, stressed, hopeful, ahhhhh.

C'MONNNN

these last two weeks are going by so slow for me. i just want summer vacation to start already. i'm over school ... shoooot, i've been over school for sucha' long time now. it's just getting ridiculous. oh, & the best part is ... all my teachers just love cramming a whole crap load of work & crap when there's seriously not even a complete 2 weeks of school left ! it's so nice of them. ughhh ! >:(

i just finished looking at some pictures that pissed me the eff off. why did i do that? idon'tknow. i'm stuuuupid. major mood killer ! & earlier today, i found out some stuff that made me wanna' go off sooo freakin' bad. hmm, today hasn't been the best if you haven't figured that out yet.

i'm currently procrastinating. don't be surprised. i'm gonna' finally start preparing for my bio project presentation after i shower in a little bit. i'm presenting sixth on thursday; so i better do pretty freaking good. no pressure, right? hah, sooo wrong. mmm, choir banquet's also on thursday ! i'm really excited to wear my dress :D the only gay part about the banquet is that i actually have to be there really early (possibly a little right afterschool) to help set up at Delight. that should be interesting ...

here's how the school day went:
1st --> actually understand it.
2nd --> presentations.
3rd --> badminton.
4th --> wasted lots of time; then finally corrected wkbks.
5th --> signed some yearbooks.
6th --> works cited info; then talked.

oh yeeeeah, i still have to buy a yearbook ! -__________-
i'm totally lagging it.

anyways, goodnight.

feeeeling ? ... tired, busy, pissed, disgusted, sick.

YAY YAY YAYYY!

congrats to everyone who made choir ! :)

whatttah' good day. too bad having to study for tomorrow's bio test is totally killing my good mood.
anywaysss, i'm out. no more procrastinating. CANDLELIGHT TOMORROW !

feeeeling ? ... extremely happy.

HEY THERE.

been a while. oh well, i guess i just haven't been in the whole 'blogging mood' until now. whatevaaas. the 3-day memorial weekend ended & after a few days of hella' good times in san diego ... i'm back to living my life in the hills of chino. ahah. fyi; i'm over drama. reallllly ... i used to struggle with what choice would be best, but after this weekend ... it was as if someone just handed me the answer to what i thought was a never ending problem. i'm actually very happy :)

anyways, regardless of how many bumps, bruises, & scratches i got this passed weekend ... i had so much fun ! no regrets - forreal. hm, & after today ... i'm just so confused about what to really think about certain people. haha, seriously ! the most unexpected conversations took place today. but yet again, i'm kinda' glad it happened ;) i really needed it. so a big 'thank you' to those surprise acquaintances today ! hah.

ughh/yayy about only having 2 tournaments left with my spring select team. i'm gonna' miss a lot of my teammates, but i'm also soo over all the drama the team has been struggling with. bitter sweet kind of thing. it's again allllll good though, 'cause i still have my freedom club games to look forward to. danggg, soccer's time consuming, but shoooot ... i love it. hopefully within the next few days, i can finally say that choir will also take up a lot of my time. -->women's ensemble<-- hopefully! haha.

okay so here's how my day went:
1st --> reviewed & then nap time !
2nd --> data table, video, & arguing about the laker game :)
3rd --> badminton.
4th --> corrected papers.
5th --> talked & talked & talked.
6th --> read 1984. shoot me.

yeeeup. alright so, club practice tonight & my momma' wants me to do help with the laundry ... so i'm out. nice catchin' up again ! seeya.

feeeeling ? ... happy, hesitant, confused, fullllll.

HAPPY MOMMA'S DAY

i love my mommy ! :) <3







but really now ? school tomorrow. i just wanna' get things over with now. wednesday better get here way faster. not really looking forward to school at all anymore. eff my life. goodnight.

feeeeling ? ... extremely thankful, but blah.

NEVER MIND

things are allllll good again. you really have no idea how happy i am.

rally today was amazing. best 2011 class comp yet ? possibly :) the jerk sesh after the rally was legit. hahah, so cute ! '11 ! '11 ! '11 ! :D

i'm too tired to say much more. so, goodnight/goodmorning !

"Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget."

feeeeling ? ... blessed, accomplished, sleepy.

UMM

i saw it coming. i swear i did. but now i just can't help but wonder why i couldn't hold back those tears. i hope things get better ... or at least go back to the way things used to be before all the "titles" came into the picture. gawshhh, i'm so stupid.

there's no such thing as a mother efffing fairytale ending.

feeeeling ? ... sadddd/happy? idk.

OH PLEASE

stop giving me BS. i really don't need none of that right now.

thank God for certain people who keep me going. i love them.

don't wanna' say much right now. so, here's how school went:

1st --> probably failed that test ;(

2nd --> an okay day.

3rd --> archery's whatevs.

4th --> shoot me.

5th --> yay for mrs.gordon !

6th --> chill day. mock trial's fun.

eff covina. we shoulda' beat them tonight. the referee obviously didn't know what a whistle is used for. 1-1 ?! you kiddin' me. that game was ours ... we need to focus & communicate A LOT better though. shooot ...

so over some things. i'm done.

feeeeling ? ... pissed, skeptical, whatevs !

WTF ?

no really. i'm so confused right now.

but anyways, because i love anne oh so much (& not because she totally wanted me to. hahah!) ... i'm gonna' take this moment to just point out that that picture of me over there ---> was taken by the wonderful anne madriaga. ahah, so props to her :) [ anne, if you're reading this ... ily ! ]

um, school's back in session. EFF MY LIFE times a zillion. forrrreal. it was unbelievably hot outside, & it's still freakin' hot inside my house too! i've never wanted to be inside a classroom so badly before, but shooot ... what can i say? the heat really gets to you. blehh, but other than the stupid weather ... everything else wasn't all that greaaat either. like seriously though, i'm really just praying that things get better. ughhh, okay ... no more talking about the negatives. 'cause forreal, it's just making me choke up & crap. i don't need any of that right now. it's time to be mother effffing OPTIMISTIC.

here's how school went:
1st --> prepared for tomorrow's test D:
2nd --> pig.
3rd --> just sat in the shade :)
4th --> don't get me started.
5th --> pretty dang boring.
6th --> started the mock trial. yayyy !

mmm ... all i really keep thinking over & over right now is "WHYYYY?" goshh, i'm in need of way better days. too bad i have a math test tomorrow & then CST's. horrible timing for that crap.

i'm done. it's really hot. 'nuff said.

feeeeling ? ... confused, distracted, disappointed, ... HOT ! D:<

WHATEVS

haha, so i kinda' feel like i'm grounded even though neither one of my parents verbally said i was. it's pretty weird, but yeah. i don't even know what being grounded is really like because my parents don't even really know what the heck it means either, but eh ... i'm just guessing that the kinda' feeling that i have right now is basically what it feels like to be on lockdown. haha. that's just in the words of anna :) i kinda' got in trouble for coming home late on tuesday, but i dgaf 'cause it was well worth it. haha, & like what i said before ... my parents don't know how to ground me, so they let me out yesterday but i had to be home really early D:< more people were supposed to come but didn't 'cause parents were being blahh & things just came up. oh welllll. but before that, i went to anna's house & she did my hair. thennn, papa richard (sean's daddddy) picked us up & dropped us off at the shoppes. we ate at cpk :) that stuff is delicious, but i got really full really quick. after eating we just chilled inside barnes & noble 'cause it was so effffing windy & cold outside. me & kayla had a talk that seriously made me wanna' cry ... & until now, i still choke up thinking about it. effff my life. but anywaysss, sean & anna kept disappearing. hahah, nothing new ;) justkiddin' ! so, at about 2:50ish, anna's brother took me home. it was an overall chill hangout, but it could've been better but whatevs ! :)

now todaaay ... i actually passed up an opportunity to chill with people. crazy, right ? haha. well, i felt like i was already pushing my dad's buttons way too much. so now i'm probably gonna' be stuck at home all day [unless my cousins decide to do something]. dangg, i hope they do.

this may seem a little random, but yesterday i suddenly had an urge to draw. hah, not like just doodles & whatnot ... but like real drawings. i haven't been into that stuff since about 2 years ago, but hmm ... i'm kinda' diggin' it again. i miss it ;) ahah, don't hate.

i watched slumdog millionaire last night. that's one of my faves now ! ahah.

ughhh, i just remembered that i have to watch another game that i'm still not allowed to play in later on tonight. i've been assigned as the "time keeper" since nobody else wants to do that crappy job & i'm still not playing for about a week & a half or so. mann, so forget going out to chill with my cousins ... i already have plans. blahhh.

well, one of my little cousins just came over & i wanna' play with her now, so seeeeya :)

feeeeling ? ... bored, creative, hesitant.

BY FARRR

... the best day of spring break. i don't care if there's still more days of break to come ... nothing's gonna' top today :) no joke.

so, i went to the ronald reagan museum today with cameron & his family. it was pretttty legit :) i had lots of fun bonding with his fammm. haha. we had some ihop for breakfast. good stuff. mmm ... i don't know. everything was just good about today, except for my ridiculously annoying headache. i'm pretty sure that i had a fever throughout most of the day, but whateverrrr ... it was all worth it. um, i think my fever's gone now though. i just got home from watching a soccer that i really wish i could've played in. too bad i'm still out for 2 weeks. my team won 1-0 :)

oh, quick little side note ... my dad & cameron's dad might actually know each other from when they used to ball back in the day. hahaha. randommm.

so i'm gonna' get some rest now. g'night !

feeeeling ? ... happppy, tired, kinda' sorta' sick.